Inspiration from a Foam Roller
Some of our greatest intellectual revelations occur during a soothing shower, high above the Earth in the pressurized cabin of an airplane, on a brisk morning run or listening to the timeless, symphonic harmonies of Mozart. For some peculiar reason I have creative epiphanies while rolling around on a black, foam cylinder during my pre-workout routine at Equinox SoHo.
I Ain’t Got No Money
I was massaging out some trigger points like a fine French pastry chef kneading dough with a rolling pin when a Timbaland track came bumping over the speaker system.
I ain’t got no money
I ain’t got no car to take you on a date
I can’t even buy you flowers
But together we can be the perfect soul mates
Talk to me girl
I laughed to myself as the verse struck a chord. After a few years of placing dating on the back burner, I started spending time with a girl from church. Although I had been on dates in the past, I had never done so while being unemployed.
The Way I Are
In previous relationships, I have felt the need to earn acceptance, approval and unconditional love by validating my worth through career title, social status and performance. Rather than “winning” someone over by creating a false identity that inevitably would crumble in later stages of commitment and intimacy, it has been healing pursuing relationship from a place of personal deconstruction. The breakthrough in this arena has come from an acceptance of who I am at the core, a further understanding of my true identity.
Laying the Right Foundation
By removing the veil and revealing my vulnerabilities, fears and flaws as the level of commitment in the relationship grows, I have felt a new and refreshing freedom. Although it can be terrifying trusting someone with tender areas of the heart, the act forms a solid foundation upon which the relationship can grow and mature.
Wishing you all a happy, authentic and vulnerable Valentine’s Day.